9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize