Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
