i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
