Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
