too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
