she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
