I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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