when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
