I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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