So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Randomize
