Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
