she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
