But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
