So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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