Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
