Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
