There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
