His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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