Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
