...so i touched it.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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