i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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