you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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