I'm drive I can fine osifer
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
