Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize