she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
