Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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