Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
