I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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