Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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