For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
