My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
