used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
