i just had sex bonerless
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
