I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
