Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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