He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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