I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
