FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
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