please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
