You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
