Where did you get a picture of my penis
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
