and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i need some magic done to my vagina
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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