STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
