He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
