She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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