My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
