PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
