Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
