your parents love me but you hate me
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
