butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize