I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
People in love make me want to vomit
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Randomize
