it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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