i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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