Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
