thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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