You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
